Sunday, January 16, 2011

Cooking with a Voltaggio

Me: Let's welcome our kitchen guest tonight, Bryan Voltaggio

Bryan: Excuse me, do not lie to the two people that actually take the time to read this craphshoot you call a blog.

Me: What do you mean?

Bryan: Tell them.

Me: Fine! Welcome my Bryan Voltaggio bobblehead!

Bryan Bobblehead: Now that's more like it. Okay, so what are we cooking tonight?

Me: I'm not really sure.....I was thinking...

Bryan Bobblehead: Awe geez! Do I have to do all the work around here?

Me: No, I swear, I kinda thought.....

Bryan Bobblehead: Errrr! Try again sweet cheeks. Just listen to your ol' bobblehead friend and grab that cookbook your sis and bro-law gave you for Christmas.

(Me finds said cookbook and comes back to the kitchen)

Brayn Bobblehead: Now that's what I'm talking about. Let's just open this up.......


...Some help would be nice.

Me: Sorry about that.

Bryan: Dude! First recipe and I'm already in heaven. Ol' Dorie Greenspan knows how to get my dough to rise. Hahahaha! See what I did there!

Me: Yeah, real clever.

Bryan Bobblehead: Shhh! I'm having a moment.....

...Okay let's get this started.

Me: Do I even have a choice in the matter?

Bryan Bobblehead: No, now get this stuff measured and make me some gougeres stat!

Me: Fine! But next time I'm picking.

Bryan Bobblehead: Yeah, yeah sure; now get moving.

5 minutes later

Me: Dorie was not lying about needing some elbow grease to incorporate these eggs in.
Bryan Bobblehead: Well since you were lazy and did not go to the gym you should just accept it as your punishment. Now keep stirring!

Another 5 minutes later.

Me: Done! Not to shabby if I say so myself.
Bryan Bobblehead: We'll see wannabe blogger girl.

Me: Thanks for the vote of confidence.....

30 minutes later.

Me: So there Bobblehead!

Bryan Bobblehead: Not bad. Looks pretty damn close to that pic. But what do they taste like?

Me: Like light, fluffy cheese clouds.

Bryan Bobblehead: Wow, that does sound amazing.

Me: I know right?! Sweet baby Jesus, these are delicious. And since you are just a bobblehead that I have placed my inner monologue on, I don't have to share any with you.

Bryan Bobblehead: Ouch, that hurt; but touche friend, touche.


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