Bryan Bobblehead: Howdy!
Me: Aw geez! Are you for real?
Bryan Bobblehead: I never kid about chili
Me: When I told you I was going to be making chili, I really didn't expect this? I do love your mustache? How'd you cut that out what with your arms being frozen into a sullen stance?
Bryan Bobblehead: Don't question my powers.
Me: What powers?
Bryan Bobblehead: The powers of my inner cowboy.
Me: Now you're really just making sh** up.
Bryan Bobblehead: (screaming and speaking quickly) DO NOT QUESTION MY POWERS!!!!
Me: Okay then, don't get your plastic panties in a twist.
Bryan Bobble: Well little lady, I like what you're fixin'. That thar looks like a hog-killin' time in a pot.
Me: Um....thanks? I think. What does that mean exactly?
Bryan Bobblehead: Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you're not fluent in Ye Olde Western slang.
Me: Isn't "Ye olde" from medieval times?
Bryan Bobblehead: Little lady do not talk back to your elders! "A hog-killin' time" means a real good time. I actually thought that something you made looked and smelled delicious, and here I go trying to make you feel good and pretty and you have to go kill the moment. I mean, if I'm going to be treated this way then maybe I should just leave....
Me: I completely understand if you'd like some assistance with the door.....
Bryan Bobblehead: But since I know you cannot survive without your lil' sheriff over here I will dismiss your rudeness and we can just move on.
Me: Really? Are you sure? I mean I totally understand if....
Bryan Bobblehead: Moved on.
Me: Oh, Okay.
Bryan Bobblehead: I see you have busted out your soup pot, a wise choice that should have been made at the beginning of this Oregon Trail.
Me: Now you're just throwing in any Western related euphemism you can think of.
Bryan Bobblehead: Perhaps. By the way, where's the meat?
Me: There is no meat, this a vegetarian chili.
Bryan Bobblehead: Whoa, whoa! Are you trying to kill me. I'm a cowboy not an alfalfa desperado!
Me: (Blankly stares)
Bryan Bobblehead: Fine! I'm not a vegetarian, I want meat!
Me: I think you'll survive. I'm using butternut squash and black beans to add that protein factor and I think you will be pleasantly surprised.
Bryan Bobblehead: (sullen) Doubt it
Me: And just for that I am totally going to make you the butt of a dick joke.
Bryan: Hardy-har-har. Very funny.
Me: Well it made me laugh. And now we let it cook for a few hours, and then you'll see.
Bryan Bobblehead: Hmmm.......
2 hours later
Me: You have to admit it is tasty.
Bryan Bobblehead: I will admit that you are a brash breachy.
Me: I don't even want to know.
