Howdy Partners!

Bryan Bobblehead: Howdy!

Me: Aw geez! Are you for real?

Bryan Bobblehead: I never kid about chili

Me: When I told you I was going to be making chili, I really didn't expect this? I do love your mustache? How'd you cut that out what with your arms being frozen into a sullen stance?

Bryan Bobblehead: Don't question my powers.

Me: What powers?

Bryan Bobblehead: The powers of my inner cowboy.

Me: Now you're really just making sh** up.

Bryan Bobblehead: (screaming and speaking quickly) DO NOT QUESTION MY POWERS!!!!

Me: Okay then, don't get your plastic panties in a twist.

Bryan Bobble: Well little lady, I like what you're fixin'. That thar looks like a hog-killin' time in a pot.

Me: Um....thanks? I think. What does that mean exactly?

Bryan Bobblehead: Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you're not fluent in Ye Olde Western slang.

Me: Isn't "Ye olde" from medieval times?

Bryan Bobblehead: Little lady do not talk back to your elders! "A hog-killin' time" means a real good time. I actually thought that something you made looked and smelled delicious, and here I go trying to make you feel good and pretty and you have to go kill the moment. I mean, if I'm going to be treated this way then maybe I should just leave....

Me: I completely understand if you'd like some assistance with the door.....

Bryan Bobblehead: But since I know you cannot survive without your lil' sheriff over here I will dismiss your rudeness and we can just move on.

Me: Really? Are you sure? I mean I totally understand if....

Bryan Bobblehead: Moved on.

Me: Oh, Okay.

Bryan Bobblehead: I see you have busted out your soup pot, a wise choice that should have been made at the beginning of this Oregon Trail.

Me: Now you're just throwing in any Western related euphemism you can think of.

Bryan Bobblehead: Perhaps. By the way, where's the meat?

Me: There is no meat, this a vegetarian chili.

Bryan Bobblehead: Whoa, whoa! Are you trying to kill me. I'm a cowboy not an alfalfa desperado!

Me: (Blankly stares)

Bryan Bobblehead: Fine! I'm not a vegetarian, I want meat!

Me: I think you'll survive. I'm using butternut squash and black beans to add that protein factor and I think you will be pleasantly surprised.

Bryan Bobblehead: (sullen) Doubt it

Me: And just for that I am totally going to make you the butt of a dick joke.

Bryan: Hardy-har-har. Very funny.

Me: Well it made me laugh. And now we let it cook for a few hours, and then you'll see.

Bryan Bobblehead: Hmmm.......

2 hours later

Me: You have to admit it is tasty.

Bryan Bobblehead: I will admit that you are a brash breachy.

Me: I don't even want to know.