Monkey Attack!

Da dum......

Da dum.....

ATTACK!

You're off the guest list, Voltaggio.

WTF?

Bryan Bobble Head: WTF?!

Me: Layoff, it's late and I'm just hungry.

Bryan Bobblehead: WTF?!

Me: I'm heading out of town and I didn't have time to pick anything up so it was a freezer raid, so shut it.

Bryan Bobblehead: This meal of your falls as flat as a child's souffle. Unless it is my kid's souffle because they are glorious and he is following in the footsteps of greatness.

Me: I actually wouldn't doubt that for a second.

Bryan Bobblehead: WTF?

Me: Stop looking!

Bryan Bobblehead: I can't it's like a train wreck. If I wasn't already in a permanent state of glaring, I would cue my glare at you now.

Me: (SIGH)

Howdy Partners!

Bryan Bobblehead: Howdy!

Me: Aw geez! Are you for real?

Bryan Bobblehead: I never kid about chili

Me: When I told you I was going to be making chili, I really didn't expect this? I do love your mustache? How'd you cut that out what with your arms being frozen into a sullen stance?

Bryan Bobblehead: Don't question my powers.

Me: What powers?

Bryan Bobblehead: The powers of my inner cowboy.

Me: Now you're really just making sh** up.

Bryan Bobblehead: (screaming and speaking quickly) DO NOT QUESTION MY POWERS!!!!

Me: Okay then, don't get your plastic panties in a twist.

Bryan Bobble: Well little lady, I like what you're fixin'. That thar looks like a hog-killin' time in a pot.

Me: Um....thanks? I think. What does that mean exactly?

Bryan Bobblehead: Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you're not fluent in Ye Olde Western slang.

Me: Isn't "Ye olde" from medieval times?

Bryan Bobblehead: Little lady do not talk back to your elders! "A hog-killin' time" means a real good time. I actually thought that something you made looked and smelled delicious, and here I go trying to make you feel good and pretty and you have to go kill the moment. I mean, if I'm going to be treated this way then maybe I should just leave....

Me: I completely understand if you'd like some assistance with the door.....

Bryan Bobblehead: But since I know you cannot survive without your lil' sheriff over here I will dismiss your rudeness and we can just move on.

Me: Really? Are you sure? I mean I totally understand if....

Bryan Bobblehead: Moved on.

Me: Oh, Okay.

Bryan Bobblehead: I see you have busted out your soup pot, a wise choice that should have been made at the beginning of this Oregon Trail.

Me: Now you're just throwing in any Western related euphemism you can think of.

Bryan Bobblehead: Perhaps. By the way, where's the meat?

Me: There is no meat, this a vegetarian chili.

Bryan Bobblehead: Whoa, whoa! Are you trying to kill me. I'm a cowboy not an alfalfa desperado!

Me: (Blankly stares)

Bryan Bobblehead: Fine! I'm not a vegetarian, I want meat!

Me: I think you'll survive. I'm using butternut squash and black beans to add that protein factor and I think you will be pleasantly surprised.

Bryan Bobblehead: (sullen) Doubt it

Me: And just for that I am totally going to make you the butt of a dick joke.

Bryan: Hardy-har-har. Very funny.

Me: Well it made me laugh. And now we let it cook for a few hours, and then you'll see.

Bryan Bobblehead: Hmmm.......

2 hours later

Me: You have to admit it is tasty.

Bryan Bobblehead: I will admit that you are a brash breachy.

Me: I don't even want to know.

When Bobbleheads Attack!

Bryan Bobblehead: What you up to girlfriend?

Me: Just cooking up another Dorie Greenspan recipe from my new cookbook, chicken tagine to be more specific.

Bryan Bobblehead: Girl, you so crazy!

Me: Um...have you suddenly turned into a sassy black woman? And what are you doing here?

Bryan Bobblehead: 1) I wish! 2) I live in this kitchen and you need me.

Me (as I continue to chop onions and prep the chicken): How do you figure?

Bryan Bobblehead: Well you can't deny I bring something to this relationship. My steely blue gaze......

...hot tattoos....

and a tight ass.

Plus, you just effed up the chicken thus proving my point that you need a professional in this shamble of a kitchen.

Me: It's fine.

Bryan Bobblehead: Oh really, let's take a closer look....

....That is what you get for not fully reading directions and not knowing the basics of proper chicken preparation.

Me: Listen plastic boy, I know you have a fair point but this chicken is soon going to be smothered in all kinds of deliciousness and a little missing skin will be unnoticeable.

Bryan Bobblehead: I can see where you are going with this, but somehow I feel like you will fail.

Me: Thanks for the support.

Bryan Bobblehead: That's what I'm here for sista!

45 minutes later: cous cous cooked, and tagine finished and plated.

Bryan Bobblehead: I don't know, it looks a bit questionable.

....and did you just take a picture without me. Let's take another shot.

Me: Ugh you are a pain in my....(rudely interrupted)

Bryan Bobblehead: CHEESE!

(Snap)

Me: Listen, I know that this tagine may not win best in show, looks wise, but it tastes delicious. Chicken falling off the bone, sweet potatoes, prunes, cinnamon, saffron, and a dash of awesomeness make this a winning recipe.

Bryan Bobblehead: Say what you want, this is when I'm glad I don't have to try any of the crazy things you cook.

Me: You realize that I am bigger than you?

Bryan Bobblehead: You don't scare me.

(muffled voice from the kitchen drawer)

I was just kidding girl! HAHAHA! You know I was just joshing ya! Okay? We're cool right? You gonna let me out soon right? Right.......?

(Author's note: This recipe really was delicious, albeit some mistakes on my part. Thanks!)

Cooking with a Voltaggio

Me: Let's welcome our kitchen guest tonight, Bryan Voltaggio

Bryan: Excuse me, do not lie to the two people that actually take the time to read this craphshoot you call a blog.

Me: What do you mean?

Bryan: Tell them.

Me: Fine! Welcome my Bryan Voltaggio bobblehead!

Bryan Bobblehead: Now that's more like it. Okay, so what are we cooking tonight?

Me: I'm not really sure.....I was thinking...

Bryan Bobblehead: Awe geez! Do I have to do all the work around here?

Me: No, I swear, I kinda thought.....

Bryan Bobblehead: Errrr! Try again sweet cheeks. Just listen to your ol' bobblehead friend and grab that cookbook your sis and bro-law gave you for Christmas.

(Me finds said cookbook and comes back to the kitchen)

Brayn Bobblehead: Now that's what I'm talking about. Let's just open this up.......

...Some help would be nice.

Me: Sorry about that.

Bryan: Dude! First recipe and I'm already in heaven. Ol' Dorie Greenspan knows how to get my dough to rise. Hahahaha! See what I did there!

Me: Yeah, real clever.

Bryan Bobblehead: Shhh! I'm having a moment.....

...Okay let's get this started.

Me: Do I even have a choice in the matter?

Bryan Bobblehead: No, now get this stuff measured and make me some gougeres stat!

Me: Fine! But next time I'm picking.

Bryan Bobblehead: Yeah, yeah sure; now get moving.

5 minutes later

Me: Dorie was not lying about needing some elbow grease to incorporate these eggs in.

Bryan Bobblehead: Well since you were lazy and did not go to the gym you should just accept it as your punishment. Now keep stirring!

Another 5 minutes later.

Me: Done! Not to shabby if I say so myself.

Bryan Bobblehead: We'll see wannabe blogger girl.

Me: Thanks for the vote of confidence.....

30 minutes later.

Me: So there Bobblehead!

Bryan Bobblehead: Not bad. Looks pretty damn close to that pic. But what do they taste like?

Me: Like light, fluffy cheese clouds.

Bryan Bobblehead: Wow, that does sound amazing.

Me: I know right?! Sweet baby Jesus, these are delicious. And since you are just a bobblehead that I have placed my inner monologue on, I don't have to share any with you.

Bryan Bobblehead: Ouch, that hurt; but touche friend, touche.

Ginger cookies & Mr. Darcy

The newest addition to my family, Mr. Darcy, had quite the first week at my apartment. I adopted him from the shelter and within a few days he became seriously ill. Multiple vet visits, a stay at the pet hospital, and quite a bit of moolah later he is finally home and doing well. Though he still is bit stinky, which makes me finally understand what Phoebe was singing about on all those Friends episodes. He can't quite make up his mind whether he completely trusts me yet. And after 2 baths in a row I can't say I completely blame him.

He also came back from the vet with quite the new haircut. He is definitely going to be the trendsetter for DC cats.

I think we may be getting to a good place as he was my kitchen buddy as I baked some ginger cookies. These are the cookies that my Mom made every Christmas. My mom is not the most savvy person in the kitchen but she has a few tried and true recipes and this is one of them. I was a dork and forgot to add baking soda but I think they turned out fine despite the loss. A couple stayed a bit raw in the center so I may have just eaten those, oops! And by oops I mean yum!

Have a wonderful weekend! Here is the ginger cookie recipe if you're interested.

Ingredients

• 2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 teaspoons ground ginger
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 3/4 cup margarine, softened
• 1 cup white sugar
• 1 egg
• 1 tablespoon water
• 1/4 cup molasses
• 2 tablespoons white sugar

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Sift together the flour, ginger, baking soda, cinnamon, cloves, and salt. Set aside.
2. In a large bowl, cream together the margarine and 1 cup sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in the egg, then stir in the water and molasses. Gradually stir the sifted ingredients into the molasses mixture. Shape dough into walnut sized balls, and roll them in the remaining 2 tablespoons of sugar. Place the cookies 2 inches apart onto an ungreased cookie sheet, and flatten slightly.
3. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes in the preheated oven. Allow cookies to cool on baking sheet for 5 minutes before removing to a wire rack to cool completely. Store in an airtight container.

Boston Graveyards

One of my favorite thing to do when visiting any historical city is to visit the local graveyard. And Boston had to be one of the greatest I have seen. Of course my New Orleans trip to the local cemetery was amazing as well, but Boston was amazing in the depth of tangible history that you see. Where else do you see Samuel Adams, the Franklin Family, John Hancock, and Paul Revere all in one place? But I am a history geek and love to just roll around in all those little facts and then re-tell them to my friend who has resided in Boston for a few years and probably knows all of it but I think she should hear it again anyways. I'm just trying to spread around the knowledge people, just spreading it around.

The art of these tombstones was also intriguing. Skulls and crossbones, angels, skeletons with Father Time, weeping willows with urns. Though I think one of the most amazing things was these words:

My Flesh shall Slumber in the Ground; Till the last Trumpit Joyful Sound; Then Shall Awake with Sweet Surprise; And In Saviour Image Rise

Something about those words touched me. I am not a very religious person, but I would like to think there is something bigger then myself out there and that poem made me see that we all do when it come to the end of things. Well I'm done being philosophical and hope you enjoy some of my favorite shots.