Howdy Partners!

Bryan Bobblehead: Howdy!

Me: Aw geez! Are you for real?

Bryan Bobblehead: I never kid about chili

Me: When I told you I was going to be making chili, I really didn't expect this? I do love your mustache? How'd you cut that out what with your arms being frozen into a sullen stance?

Bryan Bobblehead: Don't question my powers.

Me: What powers?

Bryan Bobblehead: The powers of my inner cowboy.

Me: Now you're really just making sh** up.

Bryan Bobblehead: (screaming and speaking quickly) DO NOT QUESTION MY POWERS!!!!

Me: Okay then, don't get your plastic panties in a twist.

Bryan Bobble: Well little lady, I like what you're fixin'. That thar looks like a hog-killin' time in a pot.

Me: Um....thanks? I think. What does that mean exactly?

Bryan Bobblehead: Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you're not fluent in Ye Olde Western slang.

Me: Isn't "Ye olde" from medieval times?

Bryan Bobblehead: Little lady do not talk back to your elders! "A hog-killin' time" means a real good time. I actually thought that something you made looked and smelled delicious, and here I go trying to make you feel good and pretty and you have to go kill the moment. I mean, if I'm going to be treated this way then maybe I should just leave....

Me: I completely understand if you'd like some assistance with the door.....

Bryan Bobblehead: But since I know you cannot survive without your lil' sheriff over here I will dismiss your rudeness and we can just move on.

Me: Really? Are you sure? I mean I totally understand if....

Bryan Bobblehead: Moved on.

Me: Oh, Okay.

Bryan Bobblehead: I see you have busted out your soup pot, a wise choice that should have been made at the beginning of this Oregon Trail.

Me: Now you're just throwing in any Western related euphemism you can think of.

Bryan Bobblehead: Perhaps. By the way, where's the meat?

Me: There is no meat, this a vegetarian chili.

Bryan Bobblehead: Whoa, whoa! Are you trying to kill me. I'm a cowboy not an alfalfa desperado!

Me: (Blankly stares)

Bryan Bobblehead: Fine! I'm not a vegetarian, I want meat!

Me: I think you'll survive. I'm using butternut squash and black beans to add that protein factor and I think you will be pleasantly surprised.

Bryan Bobblehead: (sullen) Doubt it

Me: And just for that I am totally going to make you the butt of a dick joke.

Bryan: Hardy-har-har. Very funny.

Me: Well it made me laugh. And now we let it cook for a few hours, and then you'll see.

Bryan Bobblehead: Hmmm.......

2 hours later

Me: You have to admit it is tasty.

Bryan Bobblehead: I will admit that you are a brash breachy.

Me: I don't even want to know.

When Bobbleheads Attack!

Bryan Bobblehead: What you up to girlfriend?

Me: Just cooking up another Dorie Greenspan recipe from my new cookbook, chicken tagine to be more specific.

Bryan Bobblehead: Girl, you so crazy!

Me: Um...have you suddenly turned into a sassy black woman? And what are you doing here?

Bryan Bobblehead: 1) I wish! 2) I live in this kitchen and you need me.

Me (as I continue to chop onions and prep the chicken): How do you figure?

Bryan Bobblehead: Well you can't deny I bring something to this relationship. My steely blue gaze......

...hot tattoos....

and a tight ass.

Plus, you just effed up the chicken thus proving my point that you need a professional in this shamble of a kitchen.

Me: It's fine.

Bryan Bobblehead: Oh really, let's take a closer look....

....That is what you get for not fully reading directions and not knowing the basics of proper chicken preparation.

Me: Listen plastic boy, I know you have a fair point but this chicken is soon going to be smothered in all kinds of deliciousness and a little missing skin will be unnoticeable.

Bryan Bobblehead: I can see where you are going with this, but somehow I feel like you will fail.

Me: Thanks for the support.

Bryan Bobblehead: That's what I'm here for sista!

45 minutes later: cous cous cooked, and tagine finished and plated.

Bryan Bobblehead: I don't know, it looks a bit questionable.

....and did you just take a picture without me. Let's take another shot.

Me: Ugh you are a pain in my....(rudely interrupted)

Bryan Bobblehead: CHEESE!

(Snap)

Me: Listen, I know that this tagine may not win best in show, looks wise, but it tastes delicious. Chicken falling off the bone, sweet potatoes, prunes, cinnamon, saffron, and a dash of awesomeness make this a winning recipe.

Bryan Bobblehead: Say what you want, this is when I'm glad I don't have to try any of the crazy things you cook.

Me: You realize that I am bigger than you?

Bryan Bobblehead: You don't scare me.

(muffled voice from the kitchen drawer)

I was just kidding girl! HAHAHA! You know I was just joshing ya! Okay? We're cool right? You gonna let me out soon right? Right.......?

(Author's note: This recipe really was delicious, albeit some mistakes on my part. Thanks!)

Cooking with a Voltaggio

Me: Let's welcome our kitchen guest tonight, Bryan Voltaggio

Bryan: Excuse me, do not lie to the two people that actually take the time to read this craphshoot you call a blog.

Me: What do you mean?

Bryan: Tell them.

Me: Fine! Welcome my Bryan Voltaggio bobblehead!

Bryan Bobblehead: Now that's more like it. Okay, so what are we cooking tonight?

Me: I'm not really sure.....I was thinking...

Bryan Bobblehead: Awe geez! Do I have to do all the work around here?

Me: No, I swear, I kinda thought.....

Bryan Bobblehead: Errrr! Try again sweet cheeks. Just listen to your ol' bobblehead friend and grab that cookbook your sis and bro-law gave you for Christmas.

(Me finds said cookbook and comes back to the kitchen)

Brayn Bobblehead: Now that's what I'm talking about. Let's just open this up.......

...Some help would be nice.

Me: Sorry about that.

Bryan: Dude! First recipe and I'm already in heaven. Ol' Dorie Greenspan knows how to get my dough to rise. Hahahaha! See what I did there!

Me: Yeah, real clever.

Bryan Bobblehead: Shhh! I'm having a moment.....

...Okay let's get this started.

Me: Do I even have a choice in the matter?

Bryan Bobblehead: No, now get this stuff measured and make me some gougeres stat!

Me: Fine! But next time I'm picking.

Bryan Bobblehead: Yeah, yeah sure; now get moving.

5 minutes later

Me: Dorie was not lying about needing some elbow grease to incorporate these eggs in.

Bryan Bobblehead: Well since you were lazy and did not go to the gym you should just accept it as your punishment. Now keep stirring!

Another 5 minutes later.

Me: Done! Not to shabby if I say so myself.

Bryan Bobblehead: We'll see wannabe blogger girl.

Me: Thanks for the vote of confidence.....

30 minutes later.

Me: So there Bobblehead!

Bryan Bobblehead: Not bad. Looks pretty damn close to that pic. But what do they taste like?

Me: Like light, fluffy cheese clouds.

Bryan Bobblehead: Wow, that does sound amazing.

Me: I know right?! Sweet baby Jesus, these are delicious. And since you are just a bobblehead that I have placed my inner monologue on, I don't have to share any with you.

Bryan Bobblehead: Ouch, that hurt; but touche friend, touche.

Is Cupcake Wars in My Future?

These cupcakes are actually a bit bittersweet for me. My co-worker Eric, who has been a tremendous friend to me since we met over 2 years ago, is moving away. He was offered a bigger and better job down in FL, and I am so happy for him but also so sad to be losing someone who has been one of my "rocks". Those kind of people are hard to come by, especially in DC, but I know that Gchat will keep us together.

Before he leaves, I promised him one last baked good. I should say that he may have hinted in a very obvious way and I went along with it. But what to bake? Something that I could easily bring to work and share with the "Lunch Bunch" was going to be ideal, so cupcakes immediately came to mind. When I came across this recipe for Chocolate Cardamom Cupcakes I was immediately intrigued. One of our local gelato shops makes cardamom gelato, which is my fav, and I just knew that I had to try to make these cupcakes.

The cardamom flavor is very subtle, but the scent as you bring these towards your mouth is amazing. Unless you don't like cardamom then you would think they smell pretty rank. I would love to try this recipe in a vanilla cupcake, as I think the chocolate is very powerful and is definitely the main character. I wanted a stronger punch of cardamom and I think with a basic vanilla cupcake I would get that. But despite that this was an awesome recipe for a beginner cupcake maker.
I just hope that my co-workers think the same thing!

No Knead Bread

Why do carbs have to be bad when they taste so glorious! Bread has been such an important part of the human diet throughout food history, and I just won't give it up. Atkins be damned, I love bread and I will have it! Especially when I make it myself.

My first adventure into bread making was pretty damn successful. I chose a no knead bread recipe, which I thought would be the perfect intro into this new baking experience. After reading about it multiple times in many blogs and books I just took it as a sign that this was where I would start.

The hardest part is waiting. Waiting for the dough to rise, waiting for it to rise again, and then waiting for it to cool so you can have a taste. But you will not be disappointed. A crunchy crust with a nice chewy center, which is perfect for dipping in oil and vinegar or making into a sandwich.

I did a little bit of both as I had to test the bread properly. :) For my next experiment with this recipe I will definitely try putting in some herbs or maybe dried fruit, the possibilities are really endless. Hopefully this will inspire you to give it a try as well.

Cookie Monster!

I have been sitting on this post for awhile, though I have no idea why. It's not like my life of saving the world is so busy that I cannot take a little time to write. So today I have put a hold on my other extracurricular activities and decided I will do this. Because this is a great cookie recipe. Granted I am no Betty Crocker, but I truly enjoyed working on this recipe and even my mess ups of baking for a bit too long and putting to many on a sheet pan that resulted in some big connected globs of cookies were delicious.

I actually made this recipe twice in a one week period. Discovered through Tasting Table, the actual recipe come from David Lebovitz and his latest book Ready for Dessert: My Best Recipes. I just knew I had to try my hand at making homemade cookies, and I was not disappointed. But the first time I ended up with my cookies exuding into each other's space and performing a little hanky panky with each other, which ended with these results:

I also put the cookies in for a little too long for my liking. I am someone that like my cookies crispy on the edges and soft in the middle.

So the second time around I became a factory line cookie backing machine. Rotating shelves and trays, which resulted in a more uniform shape and better texture.

In the second batch I also added in a bit of cinnamon which I really liked. And I think you could just add the cinnamon, and leave out the chocolate to have one mean snickerdoodle recipe. I also liked that I did half semi-sweet and bitter-sweet instead of just one or the either. It was a great combination that gave richness and depth to the cookie. But all in all you should give this recipe a try (see below). The results are delicious.

Chocolate Chip Cookies Recipe adapted from Ready for Dessert: My Best Recipes, by David Lebovitz (Ten Speed Press)

Yield: about 4 dozen cookies INGREDIENTS 2½ cups all-purpose flour 3/4 teaspoon baking soda 1/8 teaspoon salt 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature 1 cup packed light brown sugar 3/4 cup granulated sugar 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 2 large eggs, at room temperature 2 cups nuts (such as walnuts, pecans, almonds or macadamia nuts), toasted and coarsely chopped 14 ounces bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, coarsely chopped into 1/2- to 1-inch chunks DIRECTIONS 1. In a small bowl, whisk the flour with the baking soda and salt. Set aside. 2. In a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat the butter with the brown sugar, granulated sugar and vanilla extract at medium speed just until smooth. Beat in the eggs, one at a time, until thoroughly incorporated, then blend in the flour mixture, nuts and chocolate chunks. 3. On a lightly floured work surface, divide the dough into quarters. Shape each quarter into a log about 9 inches long. Wrap the logs in plastic wrap and refrigerate until firm, preferably 24 hours. (The dough logs can be refrigerated for up to 1 week or frozen for up to 1 month.) 4. Position racks in the upper and lower thirds of the oven and preheat the oven to 350°. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper or silicone baking mats. 5. Slice the dough logs into ¾-inch-thick disks and place the disks 3 inches apart on the prepared baking sheets. If the nuts or chips fall out, simply push them back in. Bake the cookies, rotating the baking sheets midway through baking, until very lightly browned in the centers, about 10 minutes. 6. Let the cookies cool on the baking sheets until firm enough to handle, then use a spatula to transfer them to a wire rack. The baked cookies will keep well in an airtight container for up to 4 days.

Grapefruit Yogurt Cake

The seemingly innocent baked good you see above was a task I decided to make at the last minute. In my last couple of hours at work yesterday I ventured into a blog break and came upon Smitten Kitchen's Lime Yogurt Cake. I immediately was intrigued by the idea of making a cake with yogurt. It made me think of something light and fluffy. And with the realization that I had most of the ingredients, except for eggs, I decided to venture into this new baking territory.

The only thing I changed was the use of grapefruit instead of lime. I had invested in a grocery box with a friend and had a grapefruit and orange that I was at odds with myself what to do with. You see I am a lazy fruit eater. I hate peeling things in order to eat them, with the exception of a banana. And that pith that is such a bitch to get off just makes me upset altogether. So a recipe where I just needed to juice my grapefruit is right up my alley.

What can I say about this recipe. It was neither bad or mind blowing. The actual process was quite simple but I do think I did a few things incorrectly. After you sift the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients the directions say to stir with a spoon until just combined. And it is at this point, friends, that I think I just took things a little bit too literally. So with my regular old spoon that I eat my cereal with I began to fold and stir but saw that the resulting batter was full of large lumps. I thought that's why I sifted, but lumps came about all the same. With whisk in hand I decided to try to eliminate some of these lumps and did a few light stirs to take care of them. Well, i think I stirred too much too fast which resulted in a heavy cake. I wanted something that my fork would just cook through with easy, but found that I made something with a little more give. It still was edible, but I wanted something more.

I also wished the grapefruit would have been a bit more of an upfront taste. It is instead a very subtle background note. My only solace is that I still have an orange on my counter which can only mean another cake this weekend. Who wants to come over to try?

P is for Party......and Pate!

DC is full of wonderful farmers markets that dot every neighborhood in our four quadrants. And now that spring has sprung the markets have been booming with more vendors and people. Being a Capitol Hill resident I am an avid supporter of Eastern Market (the oldest and longest running market in DC) and love exploring the stalls every weekend, but I love to get off the hill and explore other venues. It was at the Dupont Farmer Market that I came upon a purveyor of all things meat who was selling pate made of pig jowl. Oh my....if you love to eat pork products than you would love this. Creamy, fatty with a bit of a spicy kick. That pate lasted about 3 days in my fridge as I was enjoying pate sandwiches way too much.

On this particular visit to the Dupont Farmers Market I was with my friends, who also enjoy spreadable meats as much as I do, and as we purchased our beautiful rounds of pig jowls it was discussed that we should have a pate party. I mean why not? We love pate. And any excuse for a party is fine by me. But this was not to be a party of pre-bought goods, because as we consider ourselves true foodies we decided we must try at our hand at making at our own pates. Crazy? Maybe. Delicious? Yes!

My assignment was to make Pistachio Pate, which includes chicken livers, onion, butter, pistachio, allspice, pepper, brandy, and salt. Really pate is a peasant food that was developed to make use of the undesirable meats that were left over as nothing could go to waste. And I thank the lord to whatever peasant figured it out since my life would be so incomplete without spreadable meat. And now a photo montage of my experience in mate making:

Browning chicken livers in butter.

Once you brown the livers and saute the onions, you blend them with the spices and brandy until smooth.

Once blended you refrigerate until it is set.

I added a little decor with some leftover pistachios and was pleased with the results. The entire pate party was a success. Every one's contributions were delicious and I am so excited for future opportunities to make more varieties of pate. Here is the website that we used to figure out what type of pate we wanted to make: http://basic-recipes.com/r/p/index.htm

Tarts and Vicars...minus the vicar

I spent most of afternoon and early evening making a tart on Saturday. I had bought a pan and had made a deal to myself signed in blood that I would achieve a tart recipe this weekend. And it was so worth the effort.....

Oh yeah! That is some good looking dough! I was a bit doubtful that it would come together, but look at me continually surprising myself. The entire process of making this dish was one of the most relaxing things that I will probably do this weekend. There is something innately comforting in getting your hands dirty with crust and having the rising smells of roasted cauliflower and caramelized onions enveloping you. With the addition of Lady Gaga in the background to provide some good cooking music, the evening just flew by.

This is a rich tart. The original recipe has you using mascarpone cheese for the custard, but I took Smitten Kitchen's suggestion of using ricotta as a replacement. Next time I would also use a low fat milk instead of heavy cream, which was another of her suggestions. I was worried with the use of skim ricotta that I would be lacking something, but hell this tart is still delicious. And I think you could definitely apply this same recipe to many different vegetable combinations. Once summer is in full bloom I would love to try it with summer squash and asparagus. Oh the possibilities.

But I think that it is important to remind you that this is me cooking. And when I cook something always goes slightly awry.

Mishap 1: When I checked my tart after 40 minutes the custard was set, but upon cutting I thought the crust still needed a little more time to crisp up some more. So with one piece missing I put her back in the oven for another 15 minutes to really finish off the bottom of the crust. Kinda ghetto? Yes! Did it work though? Yes!

Mishap 2: After finally sitting down to my dinner and taking my first bite I was ecstatic. And then I looked at my tart again and...oh crap. A hair, obviously one of mine, had somehow managed to insert itself into all of my hard work. You have to understand, I shed like a long haired kitten and am constantly battling the onslaught of stray hair encroaching on my life. Inside I battled with the fact that I had somehow managed to let a strand, albeit a small one, into my masterpiece and the fact that the only person eating this is me so who really cares. Can you guess which battle won? You better bet I just took that bad boy out and continued on. Are you disgusted by me? Well you can buy me a hair net for future recipes that will be shared, but since this tart is mine, all mine, I'm going to shake it off and move on.