Anthony Bourdain + Me = Match made in heaven! Now if someone can relay this message to him that would be great!

I love me some Anthony Bourdain! Not only have I read most of his books, watch his show, am a fan on Facebook, and read his blogs/interviews, but I have put him on my list of allowable people that I could cheat on my significant other with. (Though the BF is a mean boy and will not let me put a stipulation that an Anthony & Eric Ripert sandwich would also be acceptable if the occasion happened! Anthony would obviously win; but 2 silver foxes for the price of one, well I think I will sir!)

Some people are just dumbfounded by my complete attraction to him, but I think it's the simple case of a good girl liking a bad boy. Tony (Yes, we are on a first name basis so shut it!) does not sugar coat the bullsh**, is an ex-druggie and smoker, loves to drink, knows how to handle a knife, likes to eat copious amounts of meat, and cusses like a sailor. What....I think my mom would love him! Her only concern might be the 25 year age difference, but then again my mom is of the school of thought that if you are happy and being treated well than all that other stuff is superfluous.

The only thing that would make me tell my pheromones to get a hold of themselves is the fact that he is married and has a 2 year old daughter. But if he puts me on his list of allowable people to cheat on his significant other with then we would be in the clear. How I will achieve this is beyond me, but I am willing to take suggestions!

But let's face it. If I actually met him I would probably just go dumb. My mind would go blank, I would freeze in a stance that could look like I am either a complete idiot or am suffering from a distressed bladder, and the only words that would come out would be something like "OMG! I love you!" or "Uuummmm......I.....hi.....", which would only garner the Tony snicker and smart ass comment that we all love him for. And I somehow doubt he would be impressed with a Wayne & Garth-esque "I'm not worthy" show of devotion if I could somehow manage to put two words together.

So far now I will be an admirer from afar. But not a scary one with an altar in the corner and cut outs of his face plastered on the walls. Just a genuine admirer of his work, writing, and success in bringing new ideas about culture and food to his loyal viewers.