A personal vent. I promise it will not happen too often.

So I know it is not really my style, but I just need to talk things out. As very few people actually read this rickety ol' blog I feel like it is a safe place. So what the hell why not. I'm no Meg McBlogger but this girl has a 10 bag weight on her back that needs to be unloaded.

Life is not easy. Ooohhh, how very philosophical of me, but tis true. Lately I have been in the valley of self doubt and self loathing and I need to do/say something or I may explode. I know my problems are not great. I am a lucky person who has a roof over my head and enough money to feed myself and live my life in a fairly nice way. So while my issues may be insignificant they are my problems all the same and I'm just in a funk.

There are a few reasons for this: 1. a horrible job that I loathe going to on a daily basis, 2. over being in DC where I just feel so out of place lately, 3. lost in a sea of doubts of whether I should try to go to grad school or try for a different job, 4. sometimes being a single girl just plain sucks. Such seemly insignificant issues that just engulf me.

My friend was the tapping bee from Blind Melon and she was telling me how in the video the little girl is mocked or ignored and then she finds that field full of other bees like her and is happy. Remember? She went on to say that she just feels like she has not found her bees, and I knew exactly what she meant. I have some great people here but something is ultimately lacking. I have started to doubt in the human condition as of late. I have been let down by promises of friendship, love, and building a life that I just feel so, well, sad.

I know that things will get better. I hope sooner rather than later, but it will happen. If it doesn't then I am planning to blame it on a combination of seasonal depression and lady troubles.