Vegetarians, Vegans, PETA people, and general lovers of Charlotte's Web will want to turn away now! It's time to talk pig!

I receive a ton of emails on a daily basis letting me know what is going on in DC: boutique sales, gallery openings, new restaurants and bars, etc.  It was one of these emails that I found out about Poste Roast. (Check out Daily Candy or Thrillist if you would also like to hear about up and coming events going on in your town!)

Poste is a restaurant located in Penn Quarter in the Hotel Monaco; and though I had never been there to eat I was absolutely intrigued by this event. To participate you have to have a group of 6-12 people and make a reservation at least a week in advance.  Then you choose a protein that will be spit roasted and served family style to the group, along with various sides that are picked by the chef to compliment your pick. There are some intriguing options: salmon, squab, goat, lamb, brisket, pig, and more.  Our group decided, though, that it was go big or go home, so we chose something that you can't easily cook in our own kitchens.  Pig. I mean why not? There is something sexy and provocative about a pig roasting over the fire, being turned slowly, skin crisping, fats and juices rendering.  Oooohhhh boy!  I do have swine on the mind...still! 

We were supposed to sit in the Chef's Garden, but unfortunately it was raining and as their is no cover outside we were sat at the Chef's private dining table.  The bar was crowded for happy hour, which on another note has some really great deals, and we were causing a bit of a stir with the revelers as they tried to figure out what was going on in our room and why there were so many waiters coming in and out. 

Did you meet Wilbur?  Yes, we as a group have a sick sense of humor and named our soon to be feast after a beloved children's book character.  But you know what, I don't feel bad about it because we were having a good time and we worshipped, loved, and devoured that pig and respected the life that it gave to us.  When our waiter brought him in all the happy hour patrons parted like the red sea, some ran away (they were probably vegetarians), as they tried to make sense of what was happening.  Wilbur was brought to the table as you see above, and then was taken to be broken down into glorious porky portions that would be a little more manageable. As we awaited his encore appearance sides were brought out: macaroni and cheese made with 4 different types of cheese, saurkraut, roasted plums and peaches that were sprinkled with rosemary, rolls of bread with salty crispy tops.  Okay...my mouth is watering and I am not even doing it justice.  Just check out some of the pics.

In the picture above you see the main body of the pig, skin and all, broken down.  And to the right is the head that has been split so that you can try some cerebellum on brioche.  Oh hell!  It was brain and it was delicious!  I am shouting it from the rooftops:  I ate brain and loved it! And if you are grossed out...well you are just a pussy and need to give your taste buds a culinary adventure.  They are begging for it and you are just being cruel denying them.  The brain is creamy, rich, with a very subtle pork taste to it and if you like Pâté or liverwurst then you would enjoy this delicacy as well.  We also dove into the cheek and tongue, and if there had been an eyeball we would have given it a go. I think the following pic speaks volumes of our experience.

That's right, we devoured it.  We were in sweat from the effort, and it was worth it.  Delicious, gorgeous, a party in my mouth. I cannot think of the right adjective to do it justice.  So I'll just let this last picture be my conclusion.